Carmen left a message at about 11:15 am today saying she needed to talk to me “about visitation and such.” I haven’t called her back yet.

Mom and Stewart have gone to Middletown today in an attempt to get Carrie and bring her back to Kentucky for visitation. When I last talked to them they had called the police, who agreed to meet them at Carmen’s house. It’s 6:59PM. I last talked to Stewart at 5:56 PM. I’m wondering what is going on…

I called Cincinnati Children’s hospital again today and finally spoke to a real person. The woman said that the request was in “pre-billing” and that I should be receiving a statement soon. I stated that I hadn’t received a statement, which is why I was calling. I also asked if I could go ahead and pay for the records with a credit card. The woman told me that someone else would call me back about payment.

I talked to Carmen today about the video. She said that she was able to capture Carrie’s seizures on video so the doctors could view them. The reason she needed to get it on videotape was because Carrie never sleeps in the hospital because of all the “stimulating noises.” Because she doesn’t sleep in the hospital, the doctors have never been able to observe what kind of seizures Carrie has. She said the video helped a whole lot. The doctors were able to determine what kind and the severity of the seizures which helped them prescribe the right kind and dose of medicine. Now Carrie is only having a couple seizures a week as opposed to several per day. This breakthrough means that they can travel again. She said that they want to come down in May. I told her that my last final exam is on May 6 and invited them to come on May 7. She said she’d mark her calendar.

We engaged in a little small talk about school and exams and traded stories about how we get through the end of the semester. She said that she used to make up jingles in nursing school in order to be able to remember the material.

Carmen hasn’t mentioned a word to me about Mom and Stewart planning to get Carrie for visitation. I wonder if she thinks that I don’t talk to Mom and Stewart about this matter.

I really think Carmen has no one to talk to but her dad, doctors and me. She clearly hates Stewart and Mom.

No one from Children’s hospital ever called back.

I called Cincinnati Children’s hospital and left another message asking for them to give me an update on receiving Carrie’s records.

Carmen left a message today asking whom I would be showing the video to. She claimed that she was in the video in her pajamas, etc. She said that she didn’t want it to be shown to everyone. Quote: “there are some shots of me in there, kinda my butt hanging out, you know… It’s an embarrassment thing”.

I called Cincinnati Children’s hospital and left a message asking for them to give me an update on receiving Carrie’s records.

Carmen left me a message today asking if I could help her find a car seat on eBay that would hold a child in a forward-facing position that could accommodate a large child.

Rita called me today. She has been planning a trip to Middletown to see Carmen and the baby on Wednesday, the 21st. She said today, however that she’s thinking about not going. She doesn’t have anyone to go with her and can’t “stomach” the idea of sitting with Carmen alone and listening to her babble. I encouraged her to go, because we all need to maintain as much contact as possible. She said ultimately that she wasn’t going to go.

I returned Carmen’s call. She said that she really wanted to find a rear-facing car seat. I’m sure she misspoke on the voice mail. Among other things, she was saying that she also would like to have a “mesh shower chair.” I asked her why, and she said because Carrie was outgrowing her infant bathtub and wasn’t able to sit up while Carmen bathed her in a regular tub. She also asked about a wedge. I’m assuming she means a wedge to put Carrie on in the tub to keep her at an incline. She also said that she went ahead and bought a reclining high chair.

Carmen left me a message today saying that she made a video of a day in the life of Carrie. I didn’t call her back today.

Mom and Stewart were supposed to go to Middletown and attempt to get Carrie and bring her to Kentucky for a weekend visitation. Stewart called Carmen to tell her. She told Stewart that Carrie wasn’t medically stable and that she would definitely not allow him to take Carrie. They called the police, as instructed by Stewart's attorney. The police said they wouldn’t be able to “force” Carmen to hand the baby over. They decided not to go.

Last Saturday Carmen said that she takes Carrie to the Doty House for physical therapy. Her PT’s name is TJ. Today, I looked up Doty House on the Internet. It’s a residential facility for an organization called Abilities First. I asked if there was a physical therapist that worked there named TJ. The woman I spoke to said no one with that name works at Abilities First [http://www.abilitiesfirst.org/].

Carmen left me a message this morning saying that Carrie had been upgraded in her physical therapy to a new class (Terrific Tots). She said that in this new class all the kids play together and sing songs. The therapists introduced Carrie to the other kids and told them that she has seizures and that it’s ok, not to worry if she has one during session. She makes it sound like an AA meeting.

Carmen talked about getting a special high chair today. She said that because Carrie can’t sit up she needs a high chair that reclines. Otherwise, Carrie will flop over and not be able to swallow her food. Carmen said she has to hold her up with one hand and feed her with the other.

During our conversation Carmen explained that Carrie had a very severe seizure last week. Carmen had to administer an emergency medicine to Carrie’s rectum and then call the ambulance. She said that the ambulance took her to Middletown General Hospital where they put Carrie on a helicopter and flew her to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. I find it very hard to believe that they would fly a baby to another hospital without at least trying to treat her. Heli flights are expensive, especially for a baby on a medical card. I just listened.

I asked if she got to see the same doctor every time she went to Cincinnati Children’s. She said, “Of course.” She mentioned Dr. Wong and another doctor whose name I can’t remember. I found a Dr. Wong in Dayton, but not in Cincinnati [Wong, Kin Tung MD - Wong Kin Tung MD, 1 Wyoming St, Dayton, OH 45409: (937) 208-8000].

She also told me that her regular pediatrician is Dr. P. I found him on the Internet today. At this time she gave me the physical therapists full name: T J. This prompted me to call Abilities First again and ask for him by his full name. Again, they didn’t have anyone by that name working there. She mentioned another PT named Melissa, but I didn’t catch the last name. I didn’t want to tip her off by asking for everyone’s full name, so I just listened and tried like hell to remember people’s names.

I also called the Middletown City Schools to find out if someone would verify Carmen’s employment. They don’t have her in the system. She claimed on the phone that she is now working as a substitute teacher. She has a couple “gigs” coming up that will hopefully help pay for a new car seat especially designed for disabled children up to 100 pounds.

I talked to my stepmother, Rita, about the situation today. She said that she had some similar suspicions, but wanted to give Carmen the benefit of the doubt. However, in Rita’s own words, she thinks Carmen is “crazier than a shithouse rat.” Evidently during one of Dad and Rita’s visits to Carmen’s house, Carmen told them that one of the primary reasons she didn’t want Stewart to have unsupervised visits was because Stewart had allegedly molested our cousin, Rudy. Rita said that my dad became nauseated during the conversation and signaled to her that he was ready to leave very shortly after. I have never heard anything about molestation. Carmen said that Rudy himself told her this. Of course, it’s so difficult to believe anything that Carmen says because of her track record of exaggerating and lying.

Mom said Carmen called her today about her and Stewart coming to get Carrie for a weekend visit. The bottom line of this phone call was that Carmen told mom to stay out of it or she may get hurt. That constitutes a verbal threat. I told mom that this was plenty enough reason to contact the police in Middletown and have them escort her and Stewart to Carmen’s house.

Mom and Stewart went to see an attorney in Middletown to take care of the divorce papers. The attorney said that until a judgment is made in court, Stewart has full rights to take the baby home with him for visits. The attorney encouraged Stewart to call Carmen, since they were already in Middletown. Carmen threatened to call the police if they came to her house. Stewart got mad and hung up on her. He called back right away and apologized for hanging up. He said that he tried to reason with her. Bottom line: the attorney said to make plans to come back the following Friday at 6PM to pick Carrie up. He said to call the police and show them the divorce papers if she doesn’t cooperate.

Kent and I went to Middletown to spend the day with Carrie and Carmen for Easter. We took them out to lunch at the Olive Garden. The waiter was very intrusive. He kept inserting himself into our conversation every time he came to check on us. When Kent commented on it, Carmen claimed it was because he knew her. It’s funny how she said it, “It’s because he knows me.” Why didn’t she say, “It’s because we know each other”? Anyway, she said that he had been in her special education class. She promised to pull strings and help him graduate if he would get a job and stop bothering her. How many 24-year old special education teachers have that kind of influence? The only way is if she was his only teacher and if she gave him passing grades just to get rid of him. I digress.

Before we went to eat, I picked Carrie up out of her “bouncy” seat to hold her and play with her. I had put my sunglasses on top of my head, and she stared at them with awe. When I talked to her in baby talk and told her how cute she was she smiled and cooed. Except for the fact that I haven’t seen her roll over, she looks perfect. Of course, how can she ever roll over when Carmen keeps her strapped into the “bouncy” seat all the time?

At lunch, Carmen only mentioned Stewart’s phone call once. She did say that he called her and that she told him not to come and that he hung up on her. That’s where the similarities end. She said that when he called back she let the answering machine pick up and that she recorded him threatening her. I strongly believe that she’s lying about this simply because Mom was with Stewart IN THE attorney’s office. He’d stupid to threaten her. Carmen, however, didn’t know that Stewart was calling form the attorney’s office because he called using his mobile phone.

Back at Carmen’s house, she put Carrie on a blanket on the floor and put in a DVD. It was a Baby Einstein Video featuring Mozart music. Carrie clearly loved the video, because she was mesmerized by it. While Carrie was watching the video, Carmen began the “physical therapy” routine with her. She moved her legs back and forth, bending her knee several times. Then she would switch to the other leg. Carrie didn’t like it. She kept scooting away from Carmen, but Carmen would drag her back across the blanket.

Maybe I was being paranoid, but it seemed like the closer I got to Carrie on the floor, the closer Carmen would also get to her. Every time I would hold her, she would watch me like a hawk. If Carrie fussed at all, Carmen would motion to take her away from me. I finally said that I could handle a little fussing. I wasn’t one of those uncles that gave the baby back to the mom when she started crying. Finally, Carmen just took her away from me. Then she claimed Carrie was having a seizure.

Last month Carmen came down on Friday the 11th to take Carrie to Shriner's Children's Hospital. She said they gave her special shoes to correct the development of Carrie's feet.

Because of my recent suspicions I have made efforts, with Stewart's help, to get copies of Carrie's medical records. We submitted a request to Cincinnati Children's via fax yesterday. I also contacted the medical records department at Shriner's. Here's the kicker: Carrie has never been to Shriner's. I also called new patient registration just to double check. They have no record of a March 11, 2004 appointment or any other date. This means that evidence is beginning to add up in the Munchausen by Proxy suspicion.

Yesterday we had a discussion about her desire that no one but her offer healthcare to Carrie. She made it very clear that she didn't wan my Mom involved. She said that she didn't trust Mom's ability to care for her adequately. Whe I asked about me, she said that she would rather I be "just the loving uncle." *These comments fit right in with MBPS. *

Carmen called me around lunchtime today. She went into a rant about how mom had offered to come up and take care of Carrie so she could take a rest. She thought that was an absolutely ridiculous suggestion. In her opinion mom doesn’t have the ability to take care of Carrie, let alone fully understand all of her problems. I challenged her on that claim. I explained how mom had taken care of my grandmother for nearly 20 years even though she was completely crippled with arthritis, had a colostomy bag, mom nursed her back to health after her gall bladder removal by packing the would many times a day, she bathed grandma, put her on the toilet when she needed to pee (and #2 before the colostomy bag) and on and on. Carmen became very defensive saying that she thought that the out-of-town family should simply come for visits and love Carrie and have fun with her. She didn’t want us (the out-of-town family) to be involved in her health care.

Mom’s suggestion was a result of Carmen complaining about being tired from having to watch Carrie around the clock and going to the hospital all the time. When I asked her about being Carrie’s ONLY caregiver she said, “Well, I am her primary caregiver.” Then I said, “That’s different from being the sole caregiver. You will eventually wear down and get very very tired.” I think I backed her into a corner, because she told me at that time for the first time that her godmother goes with her to all of Carrie’s pediatrician visits. She claimed that her godmother could take care of Carrie if she needed someone else. It’s very suspicious to me that I’ve never heard about her godmother before now. I mean I’ve heard about her, but not about her involvement in Carrie’s health care.

I started thinking more about MBPS and decided that the only way to rule it out was to get a copy of Carrie’s medical records. I got a medical records release form from the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital website. I faxed it to Mom’s store so Stewart could sign it. Mom faxed it to Children’s. The lady in medical records said we should receive a statement of how much it will cost in 7-10 days. Stewart agreed to have the statement mailed to my house. When the bill comes, I will call and pay for it with my credit card. They will hopefully mail the records as soon as possible.

Carmen called me from the hospital this morning at around 9AM and left a voice mail message. She said that Carrie’s seizures had been really bad and that the medication was hard on her stomach. She said the doctors wanted to keep her in the hospital for a while and try several medications. She indicated that they may be in the hospital at least a week, if not more.

Carmen called again while I was in my 2PM class and left another voice mail message. This time she said that the doctors had sent her and Carrie home. They had decided not to try any more medications in the hospital. In her words, “The doctors said to just let Carrie take the medicine at home.”

I called Carmen at about 4:30PM when I got out of class. She told me all sorts of horrible things: Carrie would never walk, they have given up on the idea of leg braces, she is forgetting what she has learned so far, she may not be able to retain anything that she ever learns, they will have to fit her for a wheelchair that will grow and change with her, she may soon need a feeding tube because her digestive muscles aren’t working right, when she eats, food has a tendency to go down into her lungs instead of her esophagus, she is having 10-15 seizures a day, a combination of grand mal and petit mal, Carrie may not live past the age of 15. If I think of anything else I’ll add it later.

I think this is a case of Munchausen by Proxy syndrome (MBPS). Either Carrie isn’t sick at all and Carmen is making up all sorts of things to get our attention, or Carrie is sick and Carmen is exaggerating the symptoms to get our attention, or Carmen is creating symptoms by harming the baby in order to get our attention. I looked up several websites that talk about MBPS. Carmen fits in with most of the characteristics of a typical perpetrator. Reference http://www.mbpexpert.com/definition.html and http://home.coqui.net/myrna/munch.htm.

I talked to Carmen for a short time today. She took Carrie to the hospital again yesterday. They discharged her today. Carmen reports that her seizures are 10 to 15 times per day and that doctors can't do anything for her. When she brings Carrie to my house everything seems fine. She is a beautiful, "normal looking" baby. Carmen gives a very grim report. She says that Carrie may not walk - in fact, she says that the chance is only 5% by age 15. She says that Carrie may not be able to eat eventually. She'll need a feeding tube. She'll need a customized wheelchair. And on and on...

My suspicion is Munchausen by Proxy. I read a little about it on the Internet today and I'm nearly convinced! All the "common characteristics" apply to Carmen. The symptoms reported by Carmen are all the same as the most common symptoms: failure to thrive, seizures, allergies. The only one that Carmen hasn't talked about yet is infections. Mark my words - infections will be next.

Carrie Is In The Hopsital

I got an email from Carmen today saying that Carrie is back in Children's, Room 7A north 721.  She called my mom and told her.  If we need info we are to call the hospital info and ask for the room.  She'll be with Carrie at all times.