Today we all went back to the hospital. I had to skip class and work. Mom, Dad and Rita all had to take off as well. There was a surreal energy in the car this morning. We were all talking about what we were going to do when we arrived. The plan was to meet with a social worker first thing. After arriving we went straight to the nurse’s station and asked for the social worker. We were told to go to the waiting room and a woman named Eddi R would be with us soon.

I couldn’t sit still. I just knew that we would make some sort of progress today. Dad passed Carmen in the hall on the way back from the restroom. He told us that he said hello to her and then something like, “You thought we wouldn’t be back, but you were wrong.” I wish he would keep his mouth shut sometimes.

We waited for nearly an hour before Eddi R showed up to talk to us. The first thing she said was that she would only talk to Stewart. We all began to talk at once trying to explain the situation and that we were all present in support of him. She insisted on only talking to him. Her plan was to meet privately with Carmen and Stewart at the same time. I thought that would be a disaster. They are always at each others throats when in the same room. Nevertheless, that’s what happened.

At some point Stewart was able to convince Eddi to talk to all of us. We explained the full situation to her. Long story short, I gave her a copy of this journal to date and some other records. She arranged for us to spend two hours at a time with Carrie. During our time with Carrie, Carmen was not allowed in the room. We alternated with her every two hours.

Carrie was mostly alert during out visit. The whole thing was really sad on a certain level. This was the first time I had actually seen her in the hospital. All the other times I didn’t find out until she was being discharged. I’m sure Carmen planned it that way. Someone from the hospital’s family life team came in with a Polaroid camera and took photos of us with Carrie. They’re actually sad to look at. We are all gathered around her bed smiling while she drowses off to her nap. If one didn’t know better, one might think she was sick by looking at the photo.

During late afternoon a doctor talked to us about one possible condition to test for. It is called Prader-Willi Syndrome that causes all kinds of things including low muscle tone (one of Carrie’s problems) and mental retardation. It want not pleasant to watch because they couldn’t find a vein for drawing blood. They finally took the blood from her foot.

At the end of our day we found out that Carrie was going to be discharged sometime after 6PM. We asked if we could get a letter from one of her attending physicians saying that Carrie wasn’t as sick as Carmen had been claiming. We waited for about an hour and finally got the letter. It was vague saying that no evidence of a seizure disorder had been found, and at the time of discharge she was medically stable.

I received 2 messages from Rita, one from Dad and one from Stewart today. Carrie is back in the hospital.

Apparently Dad and Rita made plans to visit on Sunday. Dad called Carmen on Friday to tell Carmen that Mom and Stewart would be joining them during the visit. Carmen said it wasn’t a good idea for all of them to come up. She said that it would be too much stimulation for the baby. She took Carrie to the ER shortly after that phone call.

Dad, Rita, Stewart, Mom and I all went to the hospital. I took my medical records with me. Before we left, I talked to my friend Dana, a social worker. She said that we should not leave the hospital without talking to a social worker. It is time to lay our cards on the table regarding our suspicions of Munchausen by Proxy. On the way up in the car I read a few of the highlighted comments in the medical records to everyone. We discussed our plan of action. We decided that Stewart, Dad and I would go into the baby’s room first to assess the situation. Then ask for a social worker at the nurse’s station.

Upon arrival, there was a note on the baby’s room door that said all visitors must check in at the nurse’s station. The note was handwritten. So, we checked in. A nurse went to the room to “check with the mother”. She then let us go in. Carmen didn’t look very happy to see us, however she behaved civilly. Stewart picked the baby up and sat down in the rocking chair with her. Within seconds Carmen was hovering over him giving him orders about how to handle her. She said to be careful with her head, her back, don’t bounce her because she just ate, etc. Within 2 minutes, she took Carrie from his arms. Dad then whispered to me that it was time to go ask for a social worker.

The nurses immediately went to work locating the social worker. In the meantime, Rita told Dad that she spoke with a woman that she thought was a nurse that turned out to be the resident on duty. The gist of that conversation is that Rita mentioned we were there to see the baby with cerebral palsy. The resident told her that Carrie didn’t have cerebral palsy. Then Rita told her that we were suspicious. The resident responded by saying something similar.

We talked to Heidi, social worker manager, via speakerphone in a conference room. She told us that when Carmen brought the baby back to the ER on Friday they were already suspicious of her and decided to admit Carrie until the case worker, Diane Schawe, could hold a meeting on Monday with hospital staff. Basically, Diane felt that the baby was in danger of being harmed and encouraged the hospital to admit her for protection.

We are going back to the hospital on Monday. It is quite possible that the State is prepared to remove Carrie from Carmen’s custody.

As a family, we are prepared to take custody of the baby and care for her. We don’t want her to be in the foster care system if at all possible.

I called Carmen to follow up on the message about not coming down. The divorce hearing was supposed to have been on Wednesday, the 19th, but Stewart’s lawyer filed for a continuance. She was irritated and said that if Stewart wanted to see Carrie, he’d have to come to her house once a month on Saturday between 10AM and 6PM. She was complaining about Mom’s involvement in the situation. She seems to have a great dislike for Mom. She said that my mom has no visitation rights whatsoever and that if she wants to see Carrie, she can get her own lawyer and sue for visitation. I lost my cool a little and told her that I thought she was being unreasonable. There is no cause for making Mom a villain and denying her the right to see Carrie. She thinks that Mom is the mastermind behind everything Stewart does. She thinks that if Mom would butt out, Stewart wouldn’t even want to have anything to do with Carrie. I tried to reason with her (mistake) and she briskly told me that she had a call waiting and hung up.

When I got home the medical records from Cincinnati Children’s hospital were in my mailbox. I spent a few hours this evening reading through them looking for anything that would indicate what Carrie’s illnesses really were. In the sections regarding the patient’s family medical history, Carmen listed that the baby’s father was schizophrenic and hospitalized and that the paternal uncle was autistic. To the best of my knowledge, Stewart has never been diagnosed as schizophrenic. Also, I’m the baby’s only paternal uncle; I’m definitely not autistic. Among other things that were noteworthy was a mention that the paternal grandmother would be a threat if ever allowed to visit at the hospital because she had tried to kidnap the baby in the past. This is, of course, another lie.

The first record at Cincinnati Children’s hospital is dated 11/30/03. Carrie was barely 1 month old. She was taken to the ER for a fever and ear infection. The next record was 2/20/04. this time she was taken in for vomiting, diarrhea and a fever. The notation said that Carmen claimed a fever of 104. A question mark was written next to it. The next record was 3/22/04. This time the chief complaint was seizures. The next record was 5/4/04. The chief complaint again was for seizures.

The records are full of notes from hospital staff that say the baby was playful, cheerful, alert, pink, supple, etc. In each case she was admitted for observation. There are no diagnoses of cerebral palsy or epilepsy. Also worthy of note, the records show that each time Carrie arrived at the hospital by walk-in carried by Carmen. She was never flown in a helicopter.

Carmen left me a message complaining that Stewart’s lawyer had filed for a continuance in court. She said that they wouldn’t be coming for any visits anytime soon because she didn’t see the need to waste gas or her time.

Carmen left a message today about how the specialists had reviewed Carrie’s MRI. She said that she would fill me in on what they think are the seizure-like episodes that Carrie has.

I talked to Carmen on the phone today. Carrie is being released form the hospital. The staff administered a video EEG for at least 24 hours and determined that she wasn’t having seizures. Even though she said it was good news, she kept insisting that Carrie was experiencing unexplained involuntary movements that looked like seizures. She also said that this didn’t mean that she wasn’t really having the severe seizures that require Diastat. Of course, no one but Carmen has ever witnessed one of these severe seizures. I was happy to know that the EEG showed no seizure activity. However, Carmen still clings to her stories.

Carmen called this morning to say that Carrie was having complex seizure storms last night. She administered the Diastat and called 911 to have her taken to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. The phone number is 513-636-1930 at the nurse’s station. I called main hospital and asked for Patient Information in order to get a brief description of her condition. They transferred me to the nurse’s station who transferred me directly to Carrie’s nurse. I asked her if she was in a private location. She placed me on hold and picked the line up from a private location. I told her I didn’t need her to confirm that Carrie was in the hospital. I didn’t want any records. I just wanted a brief (one-word) description such as: stable, critical, fair, etc. She wouldn’t give me anything. She asked why I didn’t talk to the baby’s mother. I asked her please not to tell anyone that I had called because I wanted to find out a more objective report. I explained that I felt that the mother was prone to exaggeration. She still wouldn’t tell me anything.

I called Mom so she could call Stewart. Mom called me back to say that Stewart called the hospital. They told him that they were basically observing Carrie to see if she was in fact having seizures or had had seizures. Of course, this is secondhand information, but it sounds like they told Stewart that nothing had been definitely diagnosed.

Mom and Stewart went to the hospital to see her. They just called me from the road to say that the doctors told them that the only thing wrong with Carrie is a developmental delay. They are going to stop by my house and tell me all about it while it’s fresh in their memories so I can put it in the journal.

Both mom and Stewart talked to the resident. He said that the MRI was inconclusive regarding seizures. He said that there were minor abnormalities in her brain that correspond with minor developmental delay. Her brain is basically normal.

Mom and Stewart saw Carmen agitating Carrie by taking away her pacifier and moving her arms and legs about. She had her sitting up and leaning forward. The nurse/nurse’s aide asked Carmen what she was doing. Carmen said that the doctor told her to do what she would normally do at home when a seizure would occur. The nurse told her to stop it because Carrie didn’t need to be agitated in such a way.

Mom was able to talk to the nurse privately. The nurse said that Carmen had told the hospital staff lots of stories. One story was that Stewart was a brain surgeon. She said that Carmen said that Stewart and Mom don’t make attempts to have anything to do with the baby. There is a general idea among the staff that Carmen exaggerates.

Today is Mother’s day. I have been feeling guilty all weekend about lying to Mom and Stewart. Carmen and Stewart had an argument on the phone, so she told him she wasn’t coming. Then she told me that she would only come if they didn’t know about it. I went along with it.

We followed the usual routine of getting up at different times and having breakfast. After breakfast, Carmen decided to show me the procedure for administering Diastat to Carrie if I were to ever be alone with her when a seizure happened. The medicine comes in a syringe (no needle) and has to be administered rectally. She showed me the diagrams on the package insert that depicted a baby on its side and a person inserting the syringe in the baby’s rectum. She said insert and push the plunger slowly for a count of 3, then hold it in for a count of 3, then pull out and squeeze the baby’s cheeks together to prevent it from coming back out. Then immediately call 911 and insist on taking the baby to the closest Children’s trauma hospital. In Lexington, that would be UK Children’s Hospital.

She said that Carrie could never be farther than a few minutes away from either Cincinnati Children’s or UK Children’s. That’s why she won’t agree to take Carrie to Mom’s or Dad’s in Berea. They are simply too far away from a Children’s hospital, and the local hospitals aren’t equipped enough to treat a baby as sick as Carrie.

Since Carmen was going to be leaving today, we didn’t plan anything. We just sat on the porch and enjoyed the weather. I held Carrie in the porch swing again. This time I spread my legs apart so there was room for Carrie to actually sit on the swing between my left. Her little feet dangled off the edge. People were walking down the street coming from the church. Occasionally someone would stop to say hi and comment on how cute Carrie is. One woman wished Carmen a Happy Mother’s Day. The woman said, “It looks like it’s your first. Congratulations.”

When Carmen wasn’t around, Kent mentioned to me that she had been counting her money at breakfast and verbally worrying about whether she had enough money for gas. He suggested that I give her $20 so she could fill up on the way home. In my attempt to be “cute” I attached a $20 bill to Carrie’s pacifier fastener. When Carmen came back to the porch she said, “Are you using her binky as your money clip?” I explained that it was her mother’s day gift.

While we sat on the porch she told me about her godmother’s adopted daughter, Tess. She was a fetal alcohol syndrome baby with hydrocephalus. Carmen said that she was 2 before she ever learned to crawl, and then began to walk shortly after that. Teresa is now almost 10 and is diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Carmen says that she is so smart that she likes to read medical journals and big books.

As she told me this story, I started to wonder how much of it was true. I am skeptical of everything she says anymore. Then I thought about all the things she has seen in her life in the foster care system. Her story of Teresa’s early years sound eerily like some of the things she says about Carrie. Like when she said that Carrie would never walk. Teresa’s adoptive parents though she would never walk. She says that Carrie is developmentally delayed, perhaps to the point where she’ll be disabled. That’s what Teresa’s parents thought about her when she was a baby. It just sounds like Carmen is projecting illnesses onto Carrie that she has seen in other children.

My friend Drew Sxxxx dropped by after playing the trumpet at church. Shortly after he arrived, Carmen left.

Carmen left a message at 4:40 PM to say she got home OK.

I awoke at around 9. I remember that Carrie had been fussy in the night. She and Carmen were up for good at probably 6AM. Kent got up around 7:30AM for his breakfast. After we all had breakfast we got ourselves ready for a walk downtown to the Farmer's Market. I was very excited because this is the first time I'd had such an outing with Carrie. Our visits usually consist of sitting in someone's living room while Carmen literally watches over her like a hawk. I pushed the stroller

At Farmer's Market, we ran into some people we know: Julie, Allison, Judith and David are the one's I can remember. Julie is an attorney who used to work for Gary C. Johnson. Allison is also an attorney who teaches at UK Law School. Judith was actually my instructor for English 101 and English 102. David is her husband. I introduced them all to Carrie. They doted on her for a moment and then we moved on.

After buying some tomatoes and cucumbers, we walked to Gratz Park because it was the weekend for Mayfest. We ran into Judith and David again. This time, they were sitting on one of the benches next to the fountain eating something from one of the food vendors. I parked Carrie in the shade and sat on the grass so we could chat with Judith and David for a few minutes. Carmen decided to feed Carrie while we were sitting there. After a few spoonfuls, Carmen complained that Carrie's stroller was on an uneven angle on the ground which made it even more difficult for Carrie to eat. She moved her several feet away and turned the stroller so I couldn't see Carrie's face. Judith and David finished eating and went about shopping. Then Carrie finished eating, and we headed back home. Again, I pushed the stroller.

Back home, I made lunch for Carmen and me. Then we all sat on the front porch for a while. It was a beautiful day. I held Carrie in the porch swing. She seemed to be having a great time. She was hardly fussy at all. She rarely even wanted her pacifier. When we got tired of the porch swing, we went upstairs to the TV room. I put Carrie on the couch next to me so she could look out the window, watch TV and interact with me. I let Carmen surf the Internet on my laptop. Thankfully, this distracted her for a short time so I could play with Carrie without her judging my every move.

At one point Carrie tried her best to roll over. I gave her a little nudge and over she went. She stayed on her belly for about a minute before she got fussy. Carmen insisted that I roll her back over. She muttered several things about how she couldn't hold her head up enough to be left on her belly, etc. I am always careful not to contradict her, so I didn't say anything.

Rodney stopped by for a moment before he had to be at work, so I guess it was about 2:45PM. While he was there talking babytalk with Carrie, she tried to roll over again. He helped her. Carmen repeated her usual speech mentioned above.

After Rodney left, I decided to lie down on the couch and place Carrie on my belly. She didn't complain at all, but after a minute or two I sat her up so that she was facing me and leaning back on my knees. Then I put her “face down” on my belly again. This time, Carmen saw it and said, “She's having a hard time breathing. You can place her on her belly like that.” Again, I didn't want to argue so I turned her over. She eventually settled in sort of between my arm and my body and fell asleep. I also fell asleep. I think we slept that way for about 30 minutes.

That evening, my friend Jay stopped by. He's a physical therapist, so I was anxious for him to interact with Carrie a little. At that time, Carmen had buckled her into the ugly foam chair. Jay reached down and unbuckled her to pick her up. He held her up into the air and talked babytalk with her. He told her how pretty she was, etc. He asked her if she was a crawler. Carmen answered saying that she probably would never crawl. Jay shared that in his experience some babies never crawl. He said that he had two nieces that would only scoot sideways before they learned to walk. Carmen didn't say anything.

While Jay was there, he and Kent and I talked about throwing together an impromptu dinner party for our usual gang of friends. It was about 5:30PM when we decided to call everyone and have them over at 7. Peter, Tracy, Dana, Leah, Jay and Mike showed up. Our other roommate, Kevin was also there. Everyone go to meet Carrie and Carmen, but it wasn't long before Carmen took Carrie away saying it was time to put her down. Carmen came back a few minutes later saying Carrie was asleep, but she didn't want to stay away from her. She said she might have a seizure because of all the excess stimulation. She took a plate of food to her bedroom while we all ate out back on the patio. I didn't see her anymore that night.

Carmen showed up at my house today at around 12:30. We had agreed that she could come for a weekend visit beginning around 3:00. I asked why she was early. She said that Carrie’s physical therapy appointment with Melissa had been cut short because Melissa went into labor.

I left her alone at the house because I had to go to work. I returned at 5. Kent was home at this time. We grilled burgers for dinner and then just watched TV that evening.

Carmen brought the video with her that I mentioned earlier in this journal. The first scene is a shot of Carrie in her crib. The time is 2:42AM. Carrie is under a blanket with her eyes open. She’s wiggling and playing, as babies do. She moves her legs up into the air a few times and reaches with her right arm from the right side to the left a couple times. Carmen claims that it was a seizure.

Then the video scene changes to the next day with Carrie having a meal. She’s eating some kind of baby food and loves it. She greedily eats each spoonful and opens her mouth for more just like a little baby bird. Her behavior doesn’t look like that of a developmentally delayed child. There are a couple more shots of Carrie in her car seat or her bouncy seat.

Then the scene changes to the waiting room at physical therapy. The wall has letters on it that spell STARS with a bunch of star shapes underneath. No one else is in the room. Then the scene changes. Now Carrie is in the room with a woman that has shoulder length curly hair. She starts out with Carrie on the floor. Carrie grabs her fingers in order to pull herself up. The woman says, “Good job, Carrie. You kept your head in the center.” She does a few more things like that, all the while taking breaks to write stuff down on a set of stapled pages.

The general atmosphere in the room with Carmen and the “physical therapist” is that they haven't met each other before. At the end of their appointment, the woman gives instructions to Carmen about what she can do (exercises and such) with Carrie in order to support her continued development.

Carmen called to say that Carrie wished me a good exam week. She said that they should arrive at my house on Friday around 3. Carmen has post-exam kisses for me. :-)

She called again later and left another message saying that she had talked on the phone with Stewart. She said the “got into a big old discussion on the phone.” She said the he told her that I don’t want her to come to my house so Stewart can visit her at my house.