Hi Gilda,

First of all, I apologize for my longwinded phone message today. I hope you can forgive me. This is merely a follow-up to the phone message.

I have three things to discuss/ask:

1. Kendall R at BCCSB confirmed yesterday that my interstate home study request has been submitted to Columbus. My social worker contact in KY advised me to talk to you about contacting the Interstate Compact Admin office in both states. I'm not sure if it's called the same thing in Ohio. I hope you know what I'm talking about and have the information. If not, please let me know and I'll be willing to research it for you. The Interstate Compact Admin contact person for KY is Mike Overstreet. The telephone number is 502-564-2147.

2. Bruce H has filed an objection to the ruling of April 20 that placed Carrie in custody of BCCSB. His motion requests that Carrie be returned to custody of her Father. It doesn't mention me at all. Knowing that Carmen has made allegations against Stewart and will continue to do so, I want to know if you have discussed with Bruce the possibility of requesting that Judge Craft place Carrie in my custody. Perhaps the court will feel more comfortable with this? The problem is, how comfortable with Bruce feel since he represents Stewart and must advocate for his best interests?

3. Will you recommend an attorney for me in Butler County (or nearby)? I'm not sure if this is a conflict of interest.

Thank you for your time. I really want to talk to you. Please call when you return from your vacation.

Sincerely,

Jody

Today was the Family Case Conference in Ohio at BCCSB. Some guy named Bill was the facilitator. Basically we all sat around a conference table with a name card in front of us. Carmen brought Dave with her. Mom and I were with Stewart. I didn't know the other social workers in attendance besides Gilda R. The format of the meeting basically assumed that there would be some sort of reunification with a family member. Carmen tried her best to smear all of us.

The facilitator went around the table asking us questions like, "What are some of your strengths?", "What are your concerns for the baby?" Carmen said that her strengths were her family ties and her church/community involvement. Give me a break! She has been telling people for a year that her mom is dead when she really isn't. No one knows where are real father is. She said that she was concerned for Carrie's safety if she were to be with any paternal family members. She said that Mom is a religious fanatic. She pointed out over and over that Stewart is mentally ill. And finally she said that she was concerned about Carrie being with me because I'm gay.

When it was my turn I said that my main concern was that Carrie had been repeatedly subjected to medications and medical procedures that she didn't need. I was worried about what this might do to her in the future or how it may affect her development. I pointed out (as if they didn't know) that she is developmentally delayed. Stewart made personal attacks on Carmen rather than talk about family strengths. She interrupted several times in an effort to basically shut him up.

Someone wrote down all of our comments on a dry erase board. There is no need to go into all the details. When it was all over the facilitator took a moment to talk to each parent. He told Stewart that Carrie's future is the focus. He told us that if this kind of fighting drags on and BCCSB keeps custody of Carrie that she can be placed for adoption after 12 months. That piece of information scared us all (Mom, Stewart, me).

I took a minute to talk to Will and Gilda before we left. I pointed out that my being gay had never bothered Carmen in the past. In fact, she has stayed with me many times. They both said they didn't care if I'm gay and that they don't care if she doesn't like it.

I drove Mom and Stewart to Ohio for Stewart's psychological evaluation. The appointment was at 11AM. We all decided that it would be best to just drop Stewart at the BCCSB. Then Mom and I could go shopping.

Mom and I hadn't been gone more than 30 or 45 minutes before Stewart called Mom's phone demanding that we come back and get him. The whole thing was over. I was surprised because they told us to block out 2-3 hours. We were in Wal-Mart a few miles away in the middle of the store. I took time to buy something to drink.

When we got back to to BCCSB he was livid. He basically tried to rip Mom a new one. He accused us of abandoning him. I got angry and told him that if he didn't lay off I would stop the car until he calmed down. It was a pretty quite ride home after that. So much for the idea of Mom and I spending any time together.

I wrote to Gilda today with information from Stewart and Carmen's marriage license. The people she listed as her parents definitely are not the people I have met and been dealing with throughout this ordeal. I've mentioned before the man she lives with and that he is supposedly her dad. She told all of us that her mom is dead, even though her "dad" testified that she is not.

I also asked Gilda for more information about whether or not I'll need an attorney.

We drove to Ohio to see Carrie again today. Kendall R was the supervisor again. He's not very friendly. I get the impression that he doesn't want to have anything to do with the family. I guess he just gets too much information from both sides and is trying to stay neutral. Carrie continues to look great. Sometimes it feels unreal that we get to spend time with her. For months I have worried that we may lose her forever. We're not out of the woods yet, but we're on the right track.