Today was the Family Case Conference in Ohio at BCCSB. Some guy named Bill was the facilitator. Basically we all sat around a conference table with a name card in front of us. Carmen brought Dave with her. Mom and I were with Stewart. I didn't know the other social workers in attendance besides Gilda R. The format of the meeting basically assumed that there would be some sort of reunification with a family member. Carmen tried her best to smear all of us.

The facilitator went around the table asking us questions like, "What are some of your strengths?", "What are your concerns for the baby?" Carmen said that her strengths were her family ties and her church/community involvement. Give me a break! She has been telling people for a year that her mom is dead when she really isn't. No one knows where are real father is. She said that she was concerned for Carrie's safety if she were to be with any paternal family members. She said that Mom is a religious fanatic. She pointed out over and over that Stewart is mentally ill. And finally she said that she was concerned about Carrie being with me because I'm gay.

When it was my turn I said that my main concern was that Carrie had been repeatedly subjected to medications and medical procedures that she didn't need. I was worried about what this might do to her in the future or how it may affect her development. I pointed out (as if they didn't know) that she is developmentally delayed. Stewart made personal attacks on Carmen rather than talk about family strengths. She interrupted several times in an effort to basically shut him up.

Someone wrote down all of our comments on a dry erase board. There is no need to go into all the details. When it was all over the facilitator took a moment to talk to each parent. He told Stewart that Carrie's future is the focus. He told us that if this kind of fighting drags on and BCCSB keeps custody of Carrie that she can be placed for adoption after 12 months. That piece of information scared us all (Mom, Stewart, me).

I took a minute to talk to Will and Gilda before we left. I pointed out that my being gay had never bothered Carmen in the past. In fact, she has stayed with me many times. They both said they didn't care if I'm gay and that they don't care if she doesn't like it.