Looking Back

In general I was overwhelmed with joy and flooded with relief when we first found out that Carrie was going to come live with us.  It had been such a long road up to that point.  We had been advocating for her safety and security for over a year by that time.  I was also a little overwhelmed with the work that was yet to come.  I needed to establish relationships with doctors, dentists, caregivers, buy toys and clothes and other supplies.  The day she came home I was nervous, because I didn't know what to expect.  We just brought her home and went about our business while she explored the house.  She was a toddler who was still getting used to walking.  She wandered around the first floor of our house jabbering to herself, going from room to room.  I assume she was just checking things out.  We put her in daycare the very next day.  In hindsight, I wish I had taken some time off to be with her, but in a way I felt like it would be better to establish her normal routine as quickly as possible.  The first few days when I picked her up from daycare she would run to me as soon as she saw me.  That was just about the best feeling in the world for me.  I loved giving her a bath, reading her stories and watching her fall asleep.  For a few weeks I couldn't wait to get up and see her in the mornings.  There was no doubt that our lives had completely changed.  We were daddies.

Itchy Tags

This morning started out great. Carrie put on her clothes without being asked and came downstairs. She even fixed her own breakfast. I praised her for both tasks. She spilled a little milk on her pants and said that she needed to change her pants. I said okay and she did. She put on another pair of leggings. She asked me to cut off the tags and I did even though she has worn this pair of leggings numerous times. As we were getting ready to leave I got her sweater and she wanted the tags cut out. This was last year's sweater so she has worn it numerous times. I asked her if she wanted to wear the new pullover and the tags were not mentioned. As we got into the truck she started complaining about the itchy pants. She said that they were bothering her. I told her it was too late to go back and change. She started really complaining about them. I ignored her complaining and changed the subject. She started saying that it was in her mind but she could not get rid of it. She started hitting herself again, not hard, just enough for attention. On our walk to school she would pull them up and push them down. she was crying and complaining. I was ignoring the behavior. She realized that it was in her head and she could not make it go away. She was doing this as she walked into the front door. I do not know how she acted in the classroom.

She realizes that this is a problem but she nor I had the tools to deal with it this morning. Ignoring it or trying happy thoughts did not work. She kept saying I know it is in my head but it is real.

Keefer said that she asked him before all of this started, "what are some relaxing exercises?" He thought that this was out of the blue but it now seems like she was anticipating that she was going to be anxious. We will practice some deep breathing exercises.